Back in March, I saw Kathleen Theresa Ramsey perform as The Rose Haze as the opener for Vendredi sur Mer. I chatted her up after her performance, talking about her work within the shoegaze genre. Later, she sent me her latest work: her ambient debut, and we had the opportunity to sit down and discuss her work, her journey as an artist, and The Cosmic Fugue.

What you are about to read is a transcription of a recorded interview, that was edited for clarity and transcribed manually by yours truly, without the usage of any AI.

ARDENTLY Magazine: I loved the listening experience of your latest album, The Cosmic Fugue. I really loved sitting with it, so I am very, very excited to talk with you about it!

Kathleen Theresa Ramsey: Aww, really? That makes me feel really happy because I know we met in a very different realm, and I said that I’d love to take any of your time to go over all of these things that I have coming up. But this album is kind of like a debut for this other version of music that I do. It’s like background noise – there’s more to it than that, but that’s kind of all it is, you know? It’s in the ambient world of stuff, so it’s a bit more experimental, but it’s supposed to just be one of those things you can put on and everyone is going to receive it the way that they receive it, so I’m glad to hear that it wasn’t like, “oh, I don’t really wanna talk about this”.

AM: I actually really love ambient music, and I love the exploration of this quiet version of the soul of music. Like, don’t get me wrong, I love shoegaze, I love heavy metal, I love everything that’s high energy and like, a very different expression [of the soul], but this more quiet part of the soul [of music] that just allows you to just sit with yourself for a minute while you listen to it is some of my favorite work. So, I was very excited to listen through [your album], especially as you described it as this planetary journey, which I really loved. I love space and astronomy and everything, so sitting with an album that is very purposefully taking you through each of the planets – I love it visually, and I love hearing your interpretation of it.

KTR: Oh, cool!

AM: I was very excited that you were sharing this. Can we dive into it?

KTR: Sure, sure, sure! I’m all set.

AM: Great! The first question I’d love to ask you is “when did you begin to play music?”.

KTR: Oh, so I was little, you know, I was probably three during the first time I can recall playing an instrument, but that doesn’t really count. So I think cognitively, I was about five or six and I had started taking piano lessons off of my aunts, so that was the very beginning. Piano was my first instrument, and pretty much my focus for most of my childhood. My dad was a guitar player, and my mom’s side of the family were all like, church pianists and organists, so it was cool to have it in the family. Like, my grandma was an organist, and then there was my rock-n-roll guitar-playing dad, so I sort of had this fusion growing up of these conflicting elements, in some ways. Depends on how you view it. But musically, there was always a common thread of there just being music in my life. So I tried to learn guitar; I took a couple lessons off my dad when I was about 15, found I had an interest in it, but it didn’t appeal to me for some reason until I was a bit older. I was writing songs and stuff, but I was piano-based for all those years. I would noodle around on the guitar, ‘cuz I had this guitar-playing dad and he’s teaching lessons to everyone, so why am I not doing this? And, well, I was like, “we’ll give it a shot”, and it was just awkward, like, “what is this thing?”, and piano was just so second nature to me because I grew up with it. I started dabbling in all kinds of other stuff after, though.

AM: Piano is so foundational for both guitar and harp, just the dexterity exercise. Do you think that [your background] in piano lent itself to your learning bass, guitar, and harp?

KTR: Absolutely. You nailed it, really. Because when people ask me “when did you pick up harp”, I say that I actually only played it for the first time in 2016. I borrowed a harp from a friend and noodled around and experimented with pedals. I had no classical training, I didn’t know what I was doing, I was just like “this thing sounds cool. I’m gonna run it through effects pedals”. And, you know, it was on loan so, I just thought that I had to get my hands on one again. Fast forward to 2020, the world closed on my birthday, and I wondered if there were any harps out there. I found a great used one in Berkley, bought it and just started learning. I took one class over video just to get the foundation correct so that I started from a good starting point. But to actually answer your question, a harp is just a vertical piano, right? Just the strings inside a piano. Of course the attack is different, but I had the understanding musically theory-wise and the dexterity of playing a guitar, which has strings, but with a sort of piano interface? It took a couple years to make something that I thought was worth listening to, though.

AM: It’s crazy that you really touched this instrument for the first time 10 years ago and now you’ve made an entire experimental album with it. Incredible.

KTR: Once I got that harp, I was just attached to it, and I spent a lot of time just playing around with it to where I felt like, truly, in the last few years, felt like I had my stride with her. Then it was about getting to a point of feeling comfortable enough to get in front of people and share it.

AM: What in particular sparked your interest in harp?

KTR: In college, I was really fascinated by jazz music. But I didn’t feel so inclined to play that kind of music. When I sat down to write [music], there were these elements of these jazzy bits, but I just wanted to write songs in the way I hear them. I’ve always been an Alice Coltrane fan and Dorothy Ashby fan, and I’d listen to those records all the time…I didn’t have the time, money, or energy to learn the violin and I wanted an instrument I could just strum [it] and it might help my anxiety. And I wanted something that appealed to that – something I could just connect with. And honestly, it’s also just meditative.

AM: So this album, The Cosmic Fugue, is kind of this artistic intersection of experimentalism, ambience, and classical instrumentation. What made you explore that particular intersection compared to anything else, like the jazz you mentioned earlier?

KTR: That’s a really great question. Picture a pie chart with everything that needs to happen in a day in it. So, we have 24 hours in a day, right? I like a lot of sleep, so I have less time to work with because of that. Plus, I work full time. You know already that I love synthesizers, I love guitar, the flute, the piano…so I’m like, “where am I gonna fit art into this?”…like, can I dedicate x-amount of hours a day to be classically trained and go to the symphony? No, not yet. So where can I start where it’s a fusion of natural ability, what I’ve been able to do, and what I’m naturally drawn to? Then I just have to push that – and myself – so that I’m not just like, winging it. Where can I put an intention into this with the best of my abilities right now? That’s where it came from, I think, from a musical mindset. Then, I had that tragedy with my friend and Rose Haze with Ruben, and we did all kinds of experimental stuff together, and I thought we were gonna be on this trajectory of our music for the rest of our lives. So when I lost him, my whole world just shattered, and I needed to take a break from the band. I just thought that I’d just go all-in on this harp stuff, because again, it’s that meditative, free-flowing energy, and I just love weird sounds. When I took time to isolate, chill out, and grieve, I took my instruments to a cabin and I worked on songs with no real purpose. I wanted to do a harp album, I wanted to record as much as I could, and when I was outdoors a lot, by myself, I had this really intimate self experience of like, life and grief; “why are we here?” and that kind of stuff. It turned into “what does it feel like to travel to Mercury?” and then Mars and Venus. That was when I just sat down and visualized a bit about each planet. During a session, I would just record whatever flowed through me, all improvised, and then I’d go back in and add layers and a little more intention. It gave me this whole “the universe is mine and I can go anywhere I want with this instrument” kind of thing.

AM: I love that. I really feel like the way you captured the travel to all the different planets is so cool. What were you specifically using to tap into each planet? A visualization, an energy…? What made each planet different?

KTR: That’s also a good question. That’s kind of where, you know, a couple of them stand out. Towards the middle-end, some of them are very blue in color. There was something about that that felt more, I don’t know, kind of Fifth Element vibe-y? Like I immediately thought of that. You know what I’m talking about?

AM: The alien opera?

KTR: Yes, but I wanted it to be more synth-y. And then I was like, “Oh, let’s add more of an electronic pulsing to these”. A lot of times, it would be at night after I’d finished tasks, but I’d try and visualize the colors of the planet. Then I’d think about if the planet is hot or cold…all the sensory stuff, how I was feeling. With “Mars”, I felt like it’s a little feistier, and for Earth, I was actually seeing a lot more dystopian themes.

AM: I love that. I enjoyed listening through the whole album, going to each planet. You could take it as like, you are some alien here visiting the solar system for the first time. And what a way to capture each of our planets! It feels as though this album is both futuristic in one way, but also very familiar at the same time. The synthesizers and the harp are both a very interesting contrast to each other, but they are also really interesting as compliments. You’ve mentioned about wanting to make something around the harp, but what made you decide harp and synthesizer out of all the instruments that you play?

KTR: Yeah, well, those were just the ones I brought with me! Essentially, every instrument that I had at the time, I set up to have everything in front of me. It was my way of starting fresh from the grief and like, “who am I going to be going into this next phase of my life musically?”. I had guitars and other things in front of me, but I thought that something like the guitar in the mix may have sounded too naughty for this project. And in considering the frequencies of the harp and crafting the song around it in a way that isn’t directly competing with what the harps is doing.

AM: I think it’s such a unique and interesting sound that you crafted. Speaking of the way you crafted this album, why did you choose “Saturn” to be the lead single for this project?

KTR: You know, that one may have actually been the first one that I actually committed to. I think it had the most intention from the get-go and I felt closest to it, in a way. It’s really what you’re getting with the album. It’s the hardest we’re going, it’s an 11-minute track, it’s one you could really throw on and forget it’s on…I think Saturn kind of embodies that, like, “where’s the beginning of the end of this?”…because there kind of isn’t?

AM: You could pick any one starting point on Saturn’s rings and there’s no beginning or end to a ring.

KTR: That’s a cool thought, too!

AM: You mentioned your isolation in crafting this album, but what went into crafting each track? What did the process look like? Was there a meditation or a set intention beforehand?

KTR: It was probably one of my favorite months of my life, to be honest. Now, in contrast, I say that because I knew I was gonna come back to the world, right? So this was a highly intentional time of my life, you know, coming out of a big wash of a blackout year of grief, being like “okay, it’s been one year since the death of my friend. Where am I going to go? Am I staying in the Bay Area?” and I was virtually homeless at the time. That’s a long story in any of itself, but the point is, I had put all my stuff into storage and visualized for the entire month of January [of last year] what I was going to do. So I was just gonna take these instruments to a cabin that I found for a month and start there: work on the music and have no goals. I had a specific routine…I’d wake up, have good food, do some stillness, do some work, go to the lake, and write in my journals. It was like a healing getaway thing. Once I had about a week under my belt, I was feeling good, in my own zone, and when I sat down to start doing this, I think that’s where “Saturn” came from. I was just really in my zone, feeling very divine, feminine, powerful…and from there I decided to stick with it and do a few songs. Always starting with a harp, I’d light a fire, do stillness and breathwork…a bit of yoga…and then I’d have my tea. Then I could plug in and jump into the session. I’d start small: limit myself to two pedals, get a basic visual in my head of the planet, and then commit to the track. Like, don’t alter it, just leave it, sit, listen back…and then I could go “okay, I’m ready to add more” or “that’s nice” or “that’s enough for today”. I was really still with myself and there was a lot of focus and meditation around it.

AM: You said this album was your tool to tackle the end stages of processing your grief. What would you say was the most cathartic part of creating this album and what was the most cathartic song to play through?

KTR: Well, the grief thing…I was also writing songs for Rose Haze, but this thing with the harp was just my own self-expression. And honestly? I really felt like I was just hanging out with Ruben. You know, like, we’re out here in space together, wherever he is, and maybe we’ll go hang out at this planet for a bit. It wasn’t a constant, but there were elements of it where I didn’t feel as alone in it as I was. But the cathartic part? Really, it was just the doing. From top to bottom, having the privilege and ability to be at peace like that…it was a lot of serenity and calm. I wasn’t getting triggered like I was with the Rose Haze stuff…I would try to write songs and just end up crying like, “this sucks without Ruben”, but this other thing I was doing felt like I could connect to my music again. I never thought I’d release it – I didn’t have that intention at the time – it was just for me to strip back the noise and chaos of the world and move past it.

AM: What made you decide to release the project?

KTR: About halfway through, it became an intention of “maybe I will”. I think it was a consideration of who might listen to it. I gave it time and I battled with it, and I thought that someone might benefit from listening to this, meditation-wise, you know? This is just a collection of sound, take it or leave it. It’s for you, if you want it. Put it on and go to space or wherever you want with it, you know? It gave me a goal, and I like goals, so then it became “get past all your self-doubt and just see what happens” – put it out and move on, you know?

AM: I love that. I think people are really going to bond with the experience of just doing that sort of self-meditation that you went through to write it. Which leads me to ask you about the visual you chose for the album cover. You chose a very specific nebula for the album cover. Was there a reason you chose that image over one or the planets or anything else, or did it just speak to you?

KTR: I love these questions! I really appreciate that question because I just did that recently. I’ve been sitting with this album for over a year, but I just chose the album art like two weeks ago, really it was right before “Saturn” came out. Before I put the song out, I was like “oh crap, I need album art!” and I had all kinds of options because space is relentlessly endless. I couldn’t decide what I wanted. A Carl Sagan-looking collection…campy 80s vibes with all the planets? But then I had to know what I was allowed to use, since I wanted to use a real image of space. And I think I chose the nebula because it’s such a blast of color, and it almost looks like – to me, anyway – if you brain just like, glitches out, but in a good way. The nebula had more feeling in it than just the planets, and it was more open to you to decide where you go when you listen to the album.

AM: In a way, it could represent the openness of creativity or the openness of being able to sit with the work. I think it’s so cool that you chose it for the color and the explosive nature rather than just picking one of the planets. It’s a bit more open and free, and it allows people to explore where their meditations take them with this album. I think it’s really special because you’ve invited people to not just interpret it for themselves, but they don’t have to experience it the exact same way you did.

KTR: Yeah, exactly. That’s what I wanted.

AM: I am so excited for you to share this album with everyone else. When is the drop date?

KTR: July 29^th. But I have an album release performance on August 7^th!

AM: This is a very different side of you, creatively. I mean, my first introduction to you was very shoegaze-y, through your band Rose Haze. This project sounds like a more soulful, spiritual aspect of your creativity.

KTR: Very much so. It hits a different center, but I love creating all kinds of music. But putting The Cosmic Fugue out there is my way of hoping that the people who find it and listen to it are able to center themselves in some way, too.

AM: Very excited for you to get The Cosmic Fugue out into the world. I can’t wait for people to hear it!

You can listen to The Cosmic Fugue on Spotify, Apple Music, Tidal, and Bandcamp. You can purchase tickets for her live performance of the album here. You can follow along with Kathleen Theresa Ramsey’s journey on her band’s website or on Instagram.