This was a strange fall for me; I did a lot of things for the first time in my entire life. Easily, the biggest thing I did was move from St. Louis to Seattle, about 2,000 miles away from where I spent my entire life – man, does it feel like it. I can’t honestly say that music was the biggest part of this odd stretch of time in my life, but a lot of what I did listen to brought me a kind of hope or a whimsical, positive energy that helped lift my spirits in a scary chapter of the Leah saga.

4 Raws – EsDeeKid

Before EsDeeKid’s meteoric rise, I was gearing up to write a review on his album Rebel, hoping to expose people who were not aware of his insane spike of popularity within the last few months – too late for that I fear. His style absolutely mesmerized both me and all the other rap nerds looking for the next big thing in underground. Cold and mysterious synth-laden instrumentals with unreal, monstrous bass, a rap flow powerful enough to substitute as a stick of dynamite, and a unique scouse accent made him pick of the litter for most people in the know. If we’re really looking at what I listened to the most this autumn, this whole album would’ve made the list! But for the sake of not making my Shae-List into the Rebel review I never got to write, I’m just going to put my favorite song from the record instead.

Bow Down – Geese

Speaking of albums that got more popularity than I expected, this record is another great mention. “Bow Down”, however, is the song that stole the show for me. Despite its deceptively simple sound, it’s such a powerful force – like a sledgehammer of a groove coming down to cave in a pumpkin. Everything it does feels scientifically designed to make the funkiest and most deranged indie-rock song ever. Elements like its clean guitar chords, its simple little snare pattern, and a crazy wicked bass guitar solo that has a totally different percussion palette really contribute to this sound. I’m a little curious as to why “Bow Down” is seemingly left out of the conversation about this record for many other people, though.

Yuri-G – PJ Harvey

PJ Harvey is the queen of unrequited lesbian love, and sometimes I just need to hear a track from someone else who just gets it. I know the song is technically about the moon, but I simply refuse to believe that it’s not a metaphor. Regardless, this song fantastically captures a raw energy I love to see in my queer-coded rock music. The guitars and bass are practically smothered in sludgy distortion, which pairs extremely well with the messy vocal layering and her too-cool and almost-sardonic vocal inflection. All of this makes for key ingredients for some of the best alternative and punk rock ever.

One Headlight – The Wallflowers

I’m not exactly sure what it is that drew me to this song. I’m usually kind of hit-or-miss with these pop-rock hits of the mid to late 90’s. I think it’s because the idea of making something work even despite its less-than-optimal condition is a very aspirational message to me as a young adult who is trying to start a new life. It certainty doesn’t hurt that the song is wrapped in this charming, rootsy aesthetic with its touches of slide guitar, bluesy guitars, and church-like organs. Ultimately, I guess, it’s just nice to hear that something is going to work out even when it feels like not much does.

Real Love Baby – Father John Misty

I have a soft spot for sweet and pretty indie folk tunes about love that sound like they’d fit right in with the Pumpkin Spiced Latte crowd. I always did like Father John Misty for his interesting compositions and his introspective and poignant lyrics. However, none of these characteristics are found on this song – in their place we have a chorus about as infectious as the common cold and sappy, endearing lyrics. The song has a few tricks up its sleeve: a nice little canon closing the song and some subtle electric guitar in the back, giving the song a bit more presence. For the most part, it’s a simple song; what you see is what you get.

The Wire – HAIM

Here I go again with a hopeful pop-rock song. “The Wire”, if nothing else, hammers in the message that you’re going to fail at a lot of things, but in the end, you’ll still be okay, and you have to accept those failures. But not for nothing, the sound of this is simply immaculate. The hand claps, the palm-muted guitars, the Flock of Seagulls-esque guitar flourishes, the little synth line in the background of the chorus – it just screams a lot of classic New Wave influence, which I’m always going to have a lot of reverence for.

Whelan’s Jig, the Swallow’s Tail, Coleman’s Cross – Barde

I’m really a sucker for a good Celtic folk jig, and like any good Celtic jig, it’s filled to the brim with a whole menagerie of instruments. Flutes, fiddles, bodhrán and banjos abound make for a gorgeous and lush sound. The song starts with flutes and a gently tapping bodhrán, progressively getting more intricate with its ever-increasing layers until it gets to a point where you just have to jump out of your seat and dance by yourself.

White Cat – Yves

Sorry to say, but I’m not really much of a K-pop girlie – blame that on a particularly toxic, highschool ex-girlfriend . Yves might be a sign of a change in attitude towards the whole genre for me. This song is epitome of upbeat, carefree dance-pop. I adore this powerhouse of a lead synth; it has the perfect amount of distortion for a square wave that just simply cuts right through the mix. Her vocals are perfect, too, as she belts her way through the chorus and then tones down her intensity for the beautifully spaced bridge. Plus, this song is about a cat! You really can’t go wrong with a song about cats.

Toxic – Brittany Spears

Despite me being a child of the early 2000s, I struggled to find enjoyment out of that era of pop as a kid. It took the opener of a Kacey Musgraves concert in Las Vegas, Nickel Creek, to do a bluegrass cover of “Toxic” for me to really get it. And after that, I was hooked! From the sinister strings to the reverb-laden, plucky guitar, every instrumental choice in this song is equal parts fantastically extravagant and wonderfully mysterious – it sounds like it would be an appropriate choice for a James Bond movie theme. The way Spears delivers her vocals is phenomenal as well. She sings like she’s actually been seduced by the man in the song and then she delivers the chorus with a resounding, intense rejection as she comes to her senses. It feels like a masterful tug-of-war of the song’s tensions as she goes back and forth about her feelings in a manipulative relationship.

Craigie Hill – Dick Gaughan

There’s a sort of longing, somber demeanor to this song that is, for whatever reason irresistible to me. Gaughan sings in a deep Scottish accent with an acoustic guitar and that’s it – it’s spare and it’s raw. It’s a song about leaving your homeland and fleeing to move elsewhere for a chance at a better life, and in an odd way I can sympathize, I wouldn’t say my situation is comparable to the Irish would had to leave for fear of starving to death but I did have to leave home and say goodbye to the places I once knew well. Maybe that’s why it resonates with me, I feel a sense of connection on having to move elsewhere for factors outside of my control. Either way, the song always make me tear up a little.

4 Minutes of Hell – G Herbo (Lil Herb)

I’m not always crazy about drill music; I usually prefer other styles of hip hop, however, G Herbo’s 2014 mixtape, Welcome to Fazoland, really opened my eyes to what drill was capable of. On “4 Minutes of Hell”, G Herbo delivers fiery flows with insane breath control, hardly letting a moment pass by without getting a word in edgewise. The instrumentals are also amazing with this looped sample of amazing operatic singing from a Dead Can Dance song of all things. The juxtaposition of G Herbo spitting his heart out over Lisa Gerrand singing is a combination I never knew I needed until I heard it.

Chance – Big Country

I already sung my praises for this album’s most popular song on my last Shae-List, so now it’s time for round two! In contrast to “In a Big Country”, this song is much more reserved, yet it still retains much of what I found to be so enjoyable on the other track. It’s not as energetic, but we still have Stuart Anderson’s booming voice calling out into the oblivion with twinkling, sunshine-y guitars laying the foundation for the bright and hopeful chorus.

does your mind think faster than you? – Big Heck

This is my indie-rock song of the year – everything about it is perfect in my eyes. I love the bit-crushed chanting that leads into the chorus, the triumphant saxophone, and I love that the saxophone plays the role of the bass during the verses. But more than anything else, I just love how bright and hopeful it sounds. It has a youthful energy that looks forward to the future. I don’t want to say much else, because I have a review of the full record right here!

Into The Light – Siouxsie and the Banshees

This is easily one of my favorite goth rock songs. I love the bouncy and pummeling bass, as well as the angular, post-punky main guitar descending riff, and Siouxsie Sioux’s layered reverb-laden vocals shine through the song’s moody atmosphere. It’s a song that really only has one trick, but it does its one trick so well that’s hard to notice without several listens, and by then you’re addicted to all the song has to offer.

The Thrill Is Gone – B.B. King

Every note that B.B. King plays on “The Thrill is Gone” feels so tragically heartbroken that it sounds like his guitar his doing all of the crying for him. No one could have possibly captured the feeling of dissipated affection for someone as well as King does on this track. The bitterness, regret, frustration, fatigue, and sadness that are needed of a song about lost love are here in spades. The lavish and weepy strings sound like they’re taken straight from a Philly soul song like Back Stabbers, and they pair so impossibly well King’s gravelly voice. The guitar solo in the last two minutes of the song is really the cherry on top of the whole thing, as if the song wasn’t good enough already.

Miami 2017 (Seen the Lights Go Out on Broadway) – Billy Joel

On the last Shae-List, I said that I had classic rock phase in my adolescence. Billy Joel was never a part my version of that phase. Of course, I knew of him and his many hits, but if I was going to go to any piano rocker from around the same time, it was going to be Elton John. For the most part, that attitude hasn’t changed much, but what I can say is that this song totally kills. It starts with a beautiful piano intro and then launches into this distorted power chord driven jam with Joel singing his heart out and as well as some vert solid tenor saxophone improvisations. Like all good classic rock of it’s day it has a dramatic and almost operatic flair to it that really made those songs seem larger than life. I’m not saying I prefer that method of songwriting to the much more direct approach we got in punk music not long after, but sometimes it is fun to go back and really take in a story of right and wrong from a classic rock song.

Tout Naturel – Lucy Bedroque

This whole mixtape has been one of my favorite releases of the year. I love the chaotic, noisy, and bassy sound that this whole project is drenched in. This song, however, especially stands out for its ethereal and glitchy beat that has so many microscopic chops and stutters that it sounds utterly surreal. Lucy is also using their autotune to its fullest potential as they work in all of these melodic lines that most rappers in their field would be jealous of. The end of this song has probably one of the stickiest refrains I’ve heard in a long time. Its sheer power drilled a whole into my head where this song now lives forever.

over again – rinasere

At the time of writing this, rinasere has only two songs out – they barely have a following – yet I can’t stop listening to “over again”. Between its techno-style bleeps, thudding, and impactful kicks, trance-style synths, hyperpop-y autotuned vocals, and trap percussion, rinasere packs a lot into a package that clocks in at just under two minutes, and somehow it feels so shockingly cohesive and refreshing. Never has a song about being stuck in a repeating cycle of being in an off-and-on relationship with a potentially emotionally abusive partner sounded so fun. If you enjoy a lot of the material from Jane Remover and similar artists, I think you would be doing yourself a disservice to not listen to this. Even if such little material, they seem to have their own unique sound figured out, which is a really refreshing sight for an artist who doesn’t even have a debut album out yet. I’m so excited to see what rinasere does next.

Merry Christmas Mr. Lawrence – Ryuichi Sakamoto

I don’t listen to much Japanese Classical music, let alone any classical music, which is something I’m slowly working on as I progress through my 20s. Despite this, I love the record 1996 by Ryuichi Sakamoto. The whole project is stunning, but this piece especially stood out to me for how lush and beautiful it sounds. The song is built around one repeated piano melody with a varying number of string accompaniments at any given time, which I realize probably doesn’t sound like the most enticing sell, but Sakamoto does everything within his power to make sure it stays just as fresh as it started. It’s surprisingly simple, yet so elegant – it’s one of few times in music where less really does feel like more.

Can’t Punk Me (feat. EARTHGANG) – JID, EARTHGANG

Despite the instrumental being little more than a jazz bass line, drum pattern, and the occasional piano chords, JID and EARTHGANG turn the track into one of the most electrifying hip-hop songs of the 2020s. Fantastically snappy flows from all three rappers and deadly sharp lyrics about coming up from an impoverished background makes “Can’t Punk Me” endlessly replayable. It doesn’t hurt that JID’s hook is delivered with such a level of passionate aggression that we rarely hear him perform with. JID has been getting a lot of recognition as of late, which is great – he’s definitely one of the best rappers of his generation. However, I think it’s also time for EARTHGANG to start getting their flowers from the same people who have such reverence for JID.

It’s hard to write a succinct conclusion about my taste in music this autumn. This season wasn’t as much of a downer for me as summer was, but it still wasn’t great either. I guess if there’s anything my choice in what I listened to says about me it’s that I’m slowly allowing myself to be okay with not everything being okay. Not that I should allow bad things to happen, but when they do, just pick yourself back up and try again – I think that’s the only thing I can do.