A while back, I stumbled across an artist whose music sounds like sirensong and melancholy on an Instagram ad. I immediately went to Spotify and listened to all of her releases, and fell in love with her voice and her compositions. She kindly agreed to do an interview via email for ARDENTLY; I hope you get to know her and enjoy her music as much as I do.

ARDENTLY Magazine: What sparked your interest in music?

The Last Living Rose: I grew up in the cult of evangelical Christianity, and was not allowed to listen to any music that was “secular”. Because of that, for a long time, music wasn’t exciting or special for me, since the only music I was able to consume was what was played on the local Christian radio station or at church. But when I was about twelve, I bought my first CD with my own money! It was Craig David’s Born to Do It. l had to to listen to it in secret, hiding under my ruffled yellow bedspread in my childhood bedroom with my y2k era see-through purple CD player so my mom wouldn’t find out. That album changed everything for me. His voice had this siren-like, wistful quality, something I now think of as a “4-6 AM sound”. It was soft, haunting, seductive, almost like a dream you can’t quite hold onto. I played it over and over until I realized music could be more than what l’d been shown before. That album changed me, and I’ve been chasing that feeling ever since.

AM: What inspires you to make music?

TLLR: In real life, I am painfully awkward and shy, but when I’m playing and singing, it gives me a way to connect with people without the stress of having to come up with what to say or small talk or whatever. I somehow find playing and singing an easier way to communicate my thoughts and feelings rather than speaking out loud, which is very difficult for me.

AM: What inspires and informs your sound?

TLLR: My sound is inspired by fleeting, cinematic moments, kind of like memories that feel like they belong in a half-forgotten dream. I love any sound that feels like it belongs in the hours of 4-6 am, that kind of sad, haunting quality where you know the night is going to be over soon and you feel as though you are the only person awake in the world at that moment.  I also adore the way that heartbreak and beauty can sort of blur into the same feeling, and I tend to gravitate towards that feeling specifically when playing or writing my music.

AM: What are three words that you would use to describe your music?

TLLR: Haunting, odd, and a bit sad.

AM: What does your music writing process look like?

TLLR: I usually have written the lyrics first, in most cases at least.  Then I try to come up with a chord progression based on the feelings and vibes of the song. I play it over and over and over trying to “find” the melody hidden in there somewhere. Eventually it comes to me and then it’s like rearranging and putting things into their final places, kind of like piecing together a beautiful puzzle.

AM: What inspired the name “The Last Living Rose”?

TLLR: I was reading an old gardening magazine 80’s or 90’s in my psychiatrist’s office over a decade ago, and “The Last Living Rose” was one of the article titles. I am always looking for beautiful bouquets of words, and that phrase stopped me in my tracks! It felt like both resilience and fragility and a little bit of sadness all wrapped up in one phrase. I decided to create an Instagram account with that as the username, and forgot I had it until earlier this year when I started releasing my music and remembered about it and thought to myself “oh my gosh, that might be perfect”.  It’s not about being the only rose, but about holding onto beauty even when life feels very harsh or cold.

AM: My favorite song of yours – Valsa pra Biu Roque – is the closing song on your newest EP, Querido, Continuo a Sonhar. What inspired this song?

TLLR: This is a song written by one of my favorite Brazilian artists, Céu.  I started listening to her back when I was just out of high school, living in my own apartment with the tall ceilings and wide-planked wooden floors, and I would sit on my bedroom floor, light up my hookah, and smoke it while listening to that album. I love that song specifically, it’s so haunting and lovely. 

 AM: You have released music in both English and Portuguese. How do you decide what is sung in English and what is sung in Portuguese?

TLLR: All of the songs I have released in Portuguese are covers!  I just love quiet and kind of sad, haunting Portuguese songs. They have been interlaced into my life for decades, I can’t imagine my life’s soundscape without them. They’re so vital to my lifeblood that I felt as though I must cover some of my favorites.

AM: What is your favorite song that you’ve released so far?

TLLR: I think it might be my cover of “Balthazar’s Song”, written by Hiss Golden Messenger. This cover is special to me because I recorded it during a really bad manic episode I had in late summer of 2019. I was so, so lost at the time, and I was listening to that album on repeat, mainly “No Lord Is Free” and “Balthazar’s Song”. I was awake almost all the time for many weeks, being unable to sleep due to the mania, and this particular night I was feeling especially lost and I went out on the porch to smoke a cigarette around 3 in the morning. It was cool for once outside, a brief glimpse of autumn’s upcoming arrival, and the crickets were singing so loudly, like a symphony meant only for me. My ukelele just happened to be resting against the wall next to the chair I was sitting in, and I picked it up, and pressed record on my phone. It turned out to be kind of a magical recording, maybe only in my eyes, but I held onto it all these years feeling its magic pulling at me, and decided to just go ahead and release it, even if everyone hated it, haha. 

AM: Where do you hope to see your music one day?

TLLR: I’m very frightened of the world, I live in constant fear of being seen and perceived, so I’m not looking for fame or fortune. My one dream that I’ve had since I was a teenager is simply to be a jazz singer in a dark, smoky bar. That’s it. I think it would suit me very well.

AM: What do you hope people take away from your music?

TLLR: My main hope is that people who feel kind of odd or out of place can maybe find some kinship in my music. I feel as though my music goes well with heartbreak, sadness, or feeling very small or lost in life. I really just want the people who listen to my music to feel a little bit less alone in the world, maybe. 

You can find The Last Living Rose on Spotify and Instagram.